Feels good to be back

well its been 7 month with a 4kg gain.... and im back and bigger then ever!! (well back to my highest weight) ...... and it sucks!!

I am seriously considering avoiding leaving the house for anything except work and the gym. I feel so fucking huge! Fat and ugly! *sigh* I went out tonight to find a dress to wear this weekend, and found a nice cut dress that fit perfectly on top, yet was so tight over my hips i swear I could hear the seams groaning!

Think it would be so much easier to hide away till i get to the perfect weight.

It would have been easier if I'd stuck to my original routine, but no, i let myself go, got slack and stopped going to the gym as much, and ate so much junk, not to mention the amount of carbs I ate in italy, greece and france. Everthing has just settled under my skin, leaving a nice thick layer of distgusting fat.

Well no use complaining about it! Its my fault, and you can only learn from your mistakes! Well I learnt! My minds running in circles, my reflection repulses me and my clothes dont fit me! Thats my fault!

Im back on the right path now! Im on a mission, im focused on my goal!

Besides, its bikini season reeeaaall soon! gotta get my entire body into gear!

wish me luck!

it feels good to be back :)

xx