Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Check in!

Eatings: Healthy, bout 1100 cals though :S

Exercise: Not to good at all, bout 350 cals :(

No chocolate days: 2!
No lolly days: 2!

Monday, November 29, 2010

back on the saddle!

Im not happy with my body!
I cant even bring myself to see what i look like in a bikini!

I had such a bad weekend, ven though i weighed in at 66kgs when i woke up, I feel like im back at my heighest weight and i want to scream!
But after one mental bashing and a couple of flash backs at lowest weight later, and
I am back in the game once again!
Time to up the cardio, reduce food intake, restrict restrict restrict! I want to be at least 65kg by xmas!
I have just under 4 weeks to get my butt into gear to look semi-decent in family fotos, then another 3 weeks until ill be living in a bikini during my holiday! 62kgs is the goal.
So seriously, whats a month of hard work out of hopefully many years of life, where i can my slim and happy, going to hurt?!?!

Morning Tea: 5 cornthins - 120 cals
Lunch: homemade salad with tuna, egg, lettuce, carrot, capsicum and a sprinkle of parma cheese & handlful of mixed nuts and dried apricots - bout 300 cals
Pre Gym snack: Carrot and pineapple - roughly 70 cals
Dinner: medium bowl of chicken mince and wholemeal pasta - bout 450 Cals
1 hours power walk - 300 cals
1 hour body attack - 700 cals

Compared to yestaerday (the shame) this a step in the right direction.
Mite hit RPM tomoz night for cardio of the day!
But now... bed time for an early rise to go for an early walk
Night guys!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A little can turn to alot!

damn...Ive lost control a little and gained a little!
I know what its from as well, the blocks (yes i said blocks) of chocolate last week :S
well I havent brought any more for 5 days now! But am still paying for it. Time to get my butt back into gear.
To Eat today:
watermelon for beakfast
apple and carrot for snack
salald wrap for lunch
Dinner is undecided
1 hour walk
15m run (next goal is building up to 30mins)
30 mins pump class
Must stop:
binging after work
Must start:
staying longer at the gym
add some more cardio into my exercise

Monday, November 8, 2010

What took me so long?!

My middle sister is a fitness freak. She's the runner of the family, the fit one... she had v's! she has abs!!!. She has done athletics since she was 8, has represented Australia in Asia, won state records and also local events. Running has always been a love of her's. She pretty much goes everyday, even when we were in France she would go for a run in the morning before we hit the sights for the day. But I could never understand her love of pounding the pavement though. Why stuff up your knees and ankles, strain for breathe and hell, even both?

On friday, during my usual walk, I felt an urge. I wanted to go faster, to feel the burning pain in my chest, the path fall behind me and the wind smash into my face! I went for a jog!

My gosh! What took me so long?! Why did I wait till that particular Friday to finally find a love of going for a run! Why have a been wasting days of my life just walking for exercise when I can get this extra burst of cardio that gives me the burn I crave?

The wind whipping through my hair, each breathe getting harder and legs getting heavier with each stride, the desire to start a bit earlier each time, to go just that bit further. The deep burn in the chest tells screams "your workin hard". The final sprint to the end takes the last bit of energy, pushing heavy legs and cross the finish line! Gasping for air and letting the blood flow back into shaking legs. I love the feeling! Feeling all this whilst running, and feeling fuckin fantastic after.

I understand why she runs now. I now share her love. (just not to the same extent to compete as she does haha) Thanks sis for the inspiration :)

Sorry for that random rant but its like experiencng new love... when you cant stop thinking bout the feeling it gives you. Im just excited because I now have another cardio exercise that I dont have to pay for. I wanted to get back into RPM (spin class) at the gym but you gotta pay 5 bucks on top of you membership each time you wanna do a class and quite frankly, I cant afford that right now. So usual attack class, pump, walking and now running are it :D
I have a goal distance I want to be abe to run, and the perect path and plan to build up that fitness.
I cant wait to get started!

Weighed myself on saturday expecting to be back up again, but was lower again, which was surprising!! So still on the right track to my party goal weight. I have 3 weeks to get there!
hope everyone is having a good week
much love

Thursday, November 4, 2010

put down the chocolate....

argh! epic fail on the no chocolate front :(

....and I cant breathe through my nose due to a cold,

I wanna look like her! We have very similar body shape and damn I would kill for abs like that:

Put down the chocolate....Its time to focus!

Monday, November 1, 2010

quick update

Yeah i said i would do my weigh in afew weeks ago.... just got distracted :S sorry!
but finally stepped on the scales today and am down! (yay) was expecting same or higher weight, and even though it asnt a huge loss, i feel motivated to finally reach my bday party goal weight. Only 1.5kgs to go! and 3 weeks till the party!
I had a mini detox week last week, but ruined it with a block of chocolate. I have finally weened myself off sugar, and i feel so much better for it. I had no energy all last week because my body was so dependent on my daily sugar binge! I had no energy for the gym, and had to go down in my weights and even then it was still hard.
Now 9 days into my no sugar challenge, i feel pretty good! At the gym tonight i still had energy in the last 20 mins of my attack class which I always crash and burn in!
This week challenge is no chocolate. I left all my chocolate on the bench with a note to my housemate saying "hide me plz :(" so i have no temptation. I have no money to buy any aswell so hopefully I can stick to it :S
Chocolate is my downfall!
Anyways, will try to update abit more, Im so inconsistant!
hope everyone is well and strong :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

workout love, spagbog hate

Well the week has been abit of a random mess. There has been no set routine in my eating or exercise, plus it didnt help that it was a long weekend and the gym shut before my attack class
:( threw my exercise routine out! then I didnt get to dance of my daily intake saturday night as got quite ill from over drinking.... prefer burning it off then bringin it back up but hey, al least it was out! But then, alas it was my bday on sunday and i was given chocolate.... so I ate it... ALL of it :(
But its a new week, and I am in a good mindset this time! Though ate afew bad things (bit of slice and 3 squares of chocolate ) had fruit, nuts, and more fruit and yoghurt thoughout the day, but ended with a just to big a bowl of spag :S
Exercise wise, walked for an hour, then did an hour of body attack and an hour of body pump! Felt sooo good!
I can roughly guess i have eaten about 1500 cals today, but burnt off 1650 cals so luckly still in negative! still shouldnt have had chocolate tho.
Is measurement day, got my diary, pen and measuring tape out, ready on my bed to wrap about my fats and tell me wat a huge lard I am *sigh*
Gotta keep positive, thats my motive this week, just keep thinkin positive thoughts!
hope everyone is well :)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Feels good to be back

well its been 7 month with a 4kg gain.... and im back and bigger then ever!! (well back to my highest weight) ...... and it sucks!!
I am seriously considering avoiding leaving the house for anything except work and the gym. I feel so fucking huge! Fat and ugly! *sigh* I went out tonight to find a dress to wear this weekend, and found a nice cut dress that fit perfectly on top, yet was so tight over my hips i swear I could hear the seams groaning!
Think it would be so much easier to hide away till i get to the perfect weight.
It would have been easier if I'd stuck to my original routine, but no, i let myself go, got slack and stopped going to the gym as much, and ate so much junk, not to mention the amount of carbs I ate in italy, greece and france. Everthing has just settled under my skin, leaving a nice thick layer of distgusting fat.
Well no use complaining about it! Its my fault, and you can only learn from your mistakes! Well I learnt! My minds running in circles, my reflection repulses me and my clothes dont fit me! Thats my fault!
Im back on the right path now! Im on a mission, im focused on my goal!
Besides, its bikini season reeeaaall soon! gotta get my entire body into gear!
wish me luck!
it feels good to be back :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Alone at last!!

After weeks of planning i can finally try the kick start diet!!! My house mate is going over seas for 2 weeks and my other housemate is never here so i am alone! I can buy what i want, cook what i want, do what i want, eat what i want!!!!!

i hope to loose at least 3kgs while he is gone!

So yeah i found the kickstart diet and moderated it to suit me since i havent done anything like this before. Plus i dont wanna cook heaps of food and can just make a giant soup in the slow cooker which will easy last all week!!! will just freeze some!


Day one: Fruit for breakfast, Vegetable soup for lunch and dinner with more fruit

Day two: Vegetables for breakfast, Vegetable soup for lunch and dinner with more vegetables

Day three: Fruit for breakfast, soup for lunch and dinner with raw vegetables on the side

Day four: Fruit for breakfast, soup for lunch and 2 ricecakes, chicken vegetable soup and raw vegetables for dinner

Day five: Fruit for breakfast, sup for lunch and 2 ricecakes, chicken or fish and vegetables for dinner

so will do this for 5 days then just eat lite-average over the weekend as have alot of drinkin planned that i really want to par-take in but dont wanna be sick so will eat to line the stomach, then once back into the week days i will do it all again :D

probably wont work but hey im excited to try it!

Also started RPM last week and man it was the heart pounding adrenalin rush i have been missing. Ever since i was forced to stop attack and step i havent felt that burn, and when i did... it felt good!!!

Nothing much to report, life is same ol same ol, thats way im looking forward to this change... hell im even considering the master cleanse for a couple of days but i dont think i have the will power for that.. will see how this goes first :) time to break the mould abit and loose that final 2 kg that are pissing me right off!!!

hope everyone is well
im off to plan my tat :D :D

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A new frame of mind

Sorry it’s been awhile. I cant get onto this site at work anymore in fear of being caught after many close encounter, and when I get home after 8 hours of looking at a computer screen all day its kind of the last thing I feel like doing but I am here today and catching up on lost time!

Well my shin splints have finally gone, and they will still have plenty of time to recover because now I have somehow done some form of damage to my foot L So to heal it, I can’t do much exercise involved heavy impact on my feet i.e. body attack and body step (which I love!) I can do swimming, walking and body pump which I do enjoy, but I don’t feel like I have worked out as hard as when I do those two cardio classes!

So at the moment my exercise routine insists of A LOT of walking and Body pump 3 times a week. I also hit up the X-trainer for a bit of extra calorie burning before and after Pump, ride my bike and occasionally go to the pool for laps…… all which aren’t to strenuous on my foot! Though on a plus side, my gym is getting RPM (spin class) which is getting me too excited for my own good! I’ll probably suck but at least it’s a class that is less strenuous on my injuries but still gives me a sweaty, gasp-worthy workout ( as weird as that sounds I feel that the more I sweat and loose my breath, the better and hard my workout is on myself!!) I’m going to put my name down while I’m at pump tonight…

I have also been feeling a bit more toned from all the pump classes. My arms look more tones, my thigh muscles are more defined and I feel slimmer. Weight wise, am still the same, however I put that down to less cardio workouts and more weight training.

In saying all this, I have recently given myself some much needed reality checks on the choices I have chose to put upon my body and how it is affecting me lifestyle. Here is a bit of a run of my mental state over the past few weeks:

While I consistently put pressure on myself to reach my goals, my mind decides otherwise to do the complete opposite and think of food every hour, on the hour. I will sit here and think “fooooooood” yet I have just eaten a healthy serve of muesli for breakfast and feel very, very full. I have never thought of anything as much as I have eating! A bad day for me involves me searching the web at work for healthy recopies to make at home, writing up new eating and exercise plans to calculate my intake of food and how much I will burn off, walking out the back of my office so see if there is anything I can eat if desperate (I never do eat it but I just like to make sure in case), watching the clock slowly counting down till the next time I have allowed myself to touch my peach and grapes, stuff them down my throat then watch the clock till lunch.... my mind screams at me, “so what if your full, you know you want that snack you are meant to eat in 2 hours time..... right now!” I hate it! It’s obsessive, addictive, controlling and making my days miserable!

So heres my new deal:

I have made the rest of February a month of body healing and strength building. While I cannot seem to shift past my current weight, sitting around 146-148 pounds (66-67kgs), I have increased my intake to about 1200 cals a day, eating foods to sustain me through the day and eliminate my sugar & chocolate cravings. And while I cannot exercise to the extreme that I crave due to injury, I am focusing on dropping my body fat percentage, increasing muscle definition and overall body toning.

Instead of weighing myself repeatedly each day, I am now dropping back to the end of the month. My new body assessment will be in measurements. At the end of this month I will measure my bust, waist, hips, bum, arm and upper and lower thigh and calculate my body fat percentage. Any weight loss is an added bonus but I will be content with maintaining my current weight.

If my foot injury has healed by the end of the month I will slowly bring high impact cardio into my routine again and if this month’s efforts are successful, I will continue with this plan also.

I don’t want to further aggravate my foot and get more and more frustrated with myself, so this will be the best option for the sake of my body and quick healing. If there is still pain, I may have to actually see someone, but money is tight due to my 6 week Europe holiday rapidly approaching so I’ll play doctor for awhile haha.

So that is now my focus.... bettering my body and my mind! My health is my priority at this time!

In other non crazy news, I am teaching myself basic French and it is making me oh so excited bout travelling later this year! I cannot wait to sit on the grass area under the Eiffel tower in Paris, so cliché but its a dream. Plus I can say, been there, done that! Gotta touch up on my Italian also!

Also my puppy is going to the vet tomorrow for a leg operation! Poor little thing is gonna give me the saddest eyes when I drop him off tomorrow but he gets to spend a month inside after so he cant really complain... but hope it all goes well! Will miss his cheeky grin for a night!

Well time to go to pump and sign up for RPM!

Bring on the burn!

If your body screams at you, tell it to shut up! – Les Mills Body Pump!

Ciao Ciao


Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Weight Watcher Fruit Salad - 40 Cals

8g Popcorn - 30 Cals
8 Deli Veri Gourment Pizza Crackers - 80 Cals
5 Multigrain Ricecakes - 110 Cals
40g Carrot - 15 Cals
50g Apricot Delights - 200 Cals
Bunch of Grapes - 60 Cals

Apple, Nectarine, Peach, Grapes - 200 Cals

Dinner (see above picture):
Lenards Chicken Tandoori Pillow - 550 cals
2 Lettuce - 2 Cals
5g Baby Spinach - 1 Cal
40g Carrot - 15 Cals
30cm Celery - 10 Cals
6 Chips - 20 Cals
5mls Tomato Sauce - 10 cals

Total Intake - Rounding to 1500
Excersice - 550

Monday, January 18, 2010

Watch out gym, im back!

FINALLY i can go back to the gym..... and sure enough the shins are wrapped in ice :( but this isnt going to stop me from going... just gotta alter my routine to suit my injuries.

So anyways, hit the gym again for the first time in a week and my god it felt good! Sure it was one of the hottest days of summer and there are only 3 pathetic fans that give out cool air to about 5% of the gigantic room whilst we jump, lunge, run, kick, push up, sit up and flick for 60mins straight but i hadnt felt that alive in ages!

Then i kinda ruined it by eatin chocolate cake :( but that is now all gone and I can get back into routine.

I have recently discovered that when i start thinking to far ahead to the goal I desire, I suddenly loose all control! I litteraly cannot stop shoveling food into my mouth as soon at the figure 53 pops into my head (my goal weight). This had lead to many weeks of frustration as i watched the scales tell me the same weight time after time...

So I have been telling myself i need to set myself small goals, which i have done each month but it was still 2 big! To tell myself i need to loose 2kg a month as small as it is, just doent stick. So i started my food journal again and on every second day i set myself a goal, for example:

Monday - 66.5kg

Wednesday - 66.2kg

Friday - 66kg

Sunday - 65.8kg

(Australia Day - Bikinis :S) Tuesday - 65.5kg

Thursday - 65.3kg

Saturday - 65kg

Sunday - January final weight= ??

Yeah so that is pretty much my short term goals, small and easy to reach!

In the example above, you may notice that on the tuedays i have stated it is Australia Day!

One of the best days of the year with friends n family. This year we are celebrating at our house, having close friends over for a cook up early morning, crackin open the first can then setting up a giant slippery slidedown the back lawn, blowup pools everywhere, aussie flags and banners, snags and booze, fireworks n friends...man its gonna be sweet as!

It is also a full day in bikinis!!!!!!

So this week MUST be a good week!

i WILL make it a good week so i can rock my ozi kinis!

I think alot of fruit is in order this week, plus its to hot to eat anything warm.... infact icecold water is sounding real good right now. Its 10pm and i swear its just as hot as 12pm!! I litteraly have to peel mysefl of my leather desk chair........ oh yes the suction sound of my fat thighs being released from their leather grip is oh so motivating me right now.

Well im off to bed. I Hope everyone has a fantastic week, keep strong, happy and healthy... and happy oz day

Friday, January 8, 2010

Stacy Keibler
- working on getting a stomach just like her's -

Jessica Hart
- my new thinspo... I mean look at that bod! perfection!! -

Jennifer Hawkins
- posing untouched/ no editing.. nothing!! i wanna look that good nekkid -

Firstly, i just wanna say Hello to my new followers, and thanks for taking an interest in my ramblings :) much appreciated!
Well this week has been a good week as far as healthy eating goes, well for me in a long time anyways. I cant remember is i posted it of not but this weeks challenge is no chocolate or lollies and i have so far stuck to that.... and will keep it going as long as possible whilst i can still say no and walk away. On about the 3rd day I was craving like crazy all the lollies we have a work and the chocolate i have shoved in my bottom draw, and started feeling really flat and tired but that feeling has now passed. Yay
Another good thing about this week is that I found the music to the attack classes I do at the gym, and since I havent been going due to leg injuries from heavy impact, I can and have been doing about 20 mins of my fave work out songs from the routine before I go to work and if I fit it in, after work. Its a great way to burn afew more calories throughout the day plus I can do it wheneber I want :D My housemates think im abit of an addict, and hell maybe I am but it makes me happy knowing I'm doing just alittle bit more then usual.
So that is the weekday done, now have the weekend to go... I will be strong!

Monday, January 4, 2010

2010 Resolutions/Goals

I wanna look this hot when i go to work out!!!

Welcome year 2010!

I will make this the year! The year I have the control and self motivation to reach my goal! I want it bad... real bad..!

Well if yo havent noticed already, I have added my weight goals on the right side there and i think it is a pretty safe way to go about it. Yes its a slow process but slow and steady is how I plan to do it. Wanting perfection right here right now always backfires in my face so have made up a challenge, complete with 12 short term goals eachg month to reach my ultimate and most desired weight!

Man i'd be happy with just reaching 120lb, so even hitting that goal i will be content and happy!

As far as other goals and resolutions go:

2010 Resolutions/Goals

  • I am hoping to travel around europe mid this year which i am very much looking forward too, have booked one part but am still working on my passport *sigh*

  • Get in contact with friends who i have drifted from

  • Become a more active runner and swimmer

  • Run the 12km City to Surf in August (Local community walking/running event)

  • Start ballroom dancing

  • Start my painting again

  • Start new sewing projects
  • Consider a possible job change after holiday
  • Appreciate each day

Yeah they arent very interesting but im excited for this new year :D

So to end this post I am going to sent my goals for this week:

Goals of the week:
DO NOT buy any Lollies && Chocolate!
Have a deficit of minimum 200 per day

I hope everyone had a fantastic new years and i wish you luck in all your goals for 2010